I’m not really expecting anyone to read this, but here goes anyway.
I should start by introducing myself, I’m going to remain anonymous for reasons I’m sure you are already aware of. We will go by my first name, so.
Hi, I’m Mia. I am 18 years old, I am depressed and suicidal. I wish it was that simple, this blog is here for me to vent, I tried keeping a diary but it felt stupid writing to myself, plus there is always the chance of someone (my parents) finding it. I am currently a 4 weeks clean of self-harm. Some may say that if it’s been so long “then what’s the problem??”. You can’t imagen how painful it is to deny your body the only thing it wants. TO FEEL ALIVE.
I first started self-harming when I was in 8th grade. It wasn’t very serious, but I developed a body image like nothing else. I’d never really made any friends and as a teenager that really started bothering me. I loved learning, but hated school. I started “playing” around with scissors and pills.
Fast forward a little bit my parents found out, they freaked out naturally, but called me an attention seeker, and that I was stupid, and that being an idiot didn’t even come close to what I was. I felt soooo ashamed that it had come to this. I’m currently an 11th grader. I really fell into the “hole” in the start of 10th grade. I’d moved to a new school and was trying to make friends. But that didn’t succeed either.
I hate myself EVERYDAY. For me it’s not about the self harm, I can live with that. It’s about the self-hate that you have to have to come to a point where harming yourself in one way or another seems the best option(escape).
I feel as if I have no one to talk to about anything, only my best friend knows, but I don’t trust her anymore after an incident this summer. They joke around and call me bulimic and depressed but they have no idea.
This is my first ever blog post
If you have any advice or tips on self harm, suicide attempts and teenage life etc. I would love for you to leave me a comment or send me a message.
But goodbye for now.